First Entry on the First Day of October 2009

It's the first day of October, and I was cleaning out my room earlier tonight and I found a journal I had kept when I was still in junior high. As I read through it, I saw that as I progressed from 7th to 8th to 9th grade I wrote less and less about substansive things and more about things I wanted to get for my birthday or the girl I was crushing on at the time. I used to write five things I was thankful for, five things I wanted to work on, a weekly quote from the Bible, and one thing I wish I could tell someone but never have. So, in the spirit of change, I thought I'd start a blog. If you've chosen to read it, I hope it entertains you in some way, and if you happen to get something out of it, then fantastic. So, here is my first post... enjoy!

5 THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR:

1. My mutts Bella and Bridget... they are the only two in this world that are always happy to see me and for that I am thankful

2. My truck... I had to buy a new battery for it today but things could have been so much worse and for that I am thankful

3. My family... my parents and even my pain the butt sister don't love me for who I am; they love me in spite of who I am and who I could be and for that I am thankful

4. Corey from Mesa Fire Station 12... he came to my office today to jump my truck for no other reason than a fellow firefighter's son needed help and for that I am thankful

5. My job... it is definitely a love/hate relationship with that job and some of the people I work with but at the same time the unemployment rate in the USA for August 2009 is 9.7%; I have job security and steady income and for that I am thankful

5 THINGS I WANT TO WORK ON:

1. My bluntness... I have a bad habit of not thinking before I speak and it has cost me more than I care to remember in the past and because of this I am going to try to change this

2. Working out... for too long I have told myself that I will start going to the gym like I did in the old days "next week" but no more; I will change my eating/working out habits and get back to where I want to be physically and it is because of this desire that I am going to try to change this

3. My dedication... when I was a senior in high school I thought I learned the cruel lesson that hard work and preparation don't guarantee that you get what you want just because a teammate's careless actions cost me my senior season; for too long I've let this attitude affect my life and because of that I am going to try to change this

4. My cynicism... I am way too young to have no faith in people and humanity in general; I need to remember that there is still good out there in the world and that I need to find it in everything I do in my life and it is because of this desire tht I am going to try to change this

5. My method of self-expression... once I let someone in and all that happened afterward was heartache; I thought the lesson to be learned from this was the easiest way to not feel bad was to deny any feeling at all and keep everything locked inside but I know better now and it is because of my desire to let someone in and be able to trust them that I am going to try to change this

WEEKLY BIBLE QUOTE:

Psalm 82:3-4

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." No wonder they call it the Good Book... it's good advice ;-)

INNER SECRET OF THE WEEK:

To Sarah Ghan--

Our history is well-known, and we've both admitted to being complete assholes to each other for no reason at all. Despite this, we recently began talking again and last night you said something that really made me feel good and made me realize how thankful I am to have a friend like you. So here's what I've always wanted to say to you but somehow have never been able to: I'm sorry I was such a jerk for no reason at all in the past; I have no excuse. I'm sorry that it took you leaving the company and moving back to your hometown to realize what a great friend and person you are, but I am really glad we are talking again. I care about you, and I'm here for you. Next time you're in Mesa, hit me up and we'll catch up (but probably not over coffee since I can't stand the stuff and you now work for Starbucks haha).

Good night, Reader, and remember that every day is potentially your last day... treat it like the miracle it is